Begüm Bener

Make Room for Things to Go Right

The other week, I talked about Upper Limit Problems, a concept from the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

In simple terms—even from the perspective of a 12-year-old—Upper Limit Problems (ULP) are what make us mess things up just when they’re going well. Why? Because we’re not used to things going smoothly. Feeling good, for too long, feels unfamiliar—so we self-sabotage.

This week, I want to go deeper with a real-life experience.

The other day, I had to take my car to the service. A couple of months ago, I had the gearbox replaced, which was a pretty costly fix. I suspected there still might be an issue with it, and I found myself having imaginary arguments in my head with the service team before I even got there.

“What if the problem’s still about the gearbox?” “I have to tell them it’s their fault. We just changed it!” “I need to defend myself!”

I caught myself mid-spiral—and recognized I was Upper Limiting again. I was bracing for conflict and expecting things to go wrong, instead of trusting things could go right.

The moment I realized what I was doing, I stopped resisting. I made a decision: I don’t want to pay anything more—since it’s under warranty. But I also don’t want to argue.

That small shift—knowing what I wanted, without pushing—turned everything around. What followed was the smoothest service visit I’ve ever had.

The guy I was mentally arguing with? He was out on his lunch break. Instead, the head of the technical department took my car for a test drive himself. He came back with genuinely helpful advice on how I should use the gear settings, even took me for another round so I could try it out while he observed and gave more tips. My car came back cleaned, no charge—and I even got served a lovely Turkish coffee while waiting. (Yes, I tipped them generously for their kindness.)

Had I stuck with the negative story in my mind, I probably would’ve had a completely different experience. Maybe I’d have argued. Maybe I wouldn’t have met the technical chief. Maybe I never would’ve learned those small tweaks to protect my gearbox—or gotten my car cleaned!

“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” — Oprah Winfrey

If we want to become someone for whom things just work out, we have to drop the old narratives.

We can’t call in new experiences while still clinging to old beliefs.

I believe that luck is simply alignment—between what we desire and our ability to allow life to flow toward us. When wanting and allowing meet, synchronicities appear. To others, it looks like luck. To us, it’s alignment.

So yes—luck is something we create, not something that just happens to us.

ULPs often reflect our underlying beliefs about worthiness. How much we believe we deserve is how much we allow ourselves to receive. Most of the time, we’re not even aware of how much well-being, support, good fortune, and love we block—simply because our belief system can’t handle it.

In the car service story, my beliefs were this close to blocking helpful advice, kind treatment, and even small joys like a complimentary car wash or Turkish coffee. Instead, I could’ve walked away frustrated, with no guidance, and the gearbox continuing to deteriorate—possibly creating a ripple of negative momentum for the rest of the day.

How hard would it be, really, to believe from the beginning that things could go well? I may not be able to imagine exactly how, but I can at least affirm this: “I’ll receive the best possible outcome with the least resistance and a sense of ease.”

Then let life do its thing.

We do this all the time in our lives—expecting people to resist us, traffic to be terrible, companies to underpay, our work to go unnoticed, or our ideas to flop.

So every time I catch myself Upper Limiting, I pause and ask:

• What if it works out this time?
• What if I get a result that amazes me?
• What if something new and delightful happens today?
• What if this time it’s me?
• What if it’s my turn now?
• What if I succeed this time?
• What if it flows, finally?

Make it natural for things to work out for you—without any “but” at the end.

So much love and trust in your ability to allow the goodness in…

As always,

Much Love ❤️ Begüm