Begüm Bener

Can Anxiety Disappear Once You Learn to Trust?

Have you ever blamed your anxiety for keeping the life you want away from you?

If yes, then you might actually be right.

Nervous System Regulation has become the new hype in the spiritual community, because without a regulated nervous system, you cannot truly get into the receiving mode. NSR is important, for sure—but as with anything new that enters our agenda, there are many missing parts we’ve yet to learn.

When we think of anxiety, the first images that come to mind are an increased heart rate, faster breathing, agitation, anger, sweating… but these are only the stereotypes of anxiety.

In reality, anxiety is a constant search for danger—even when none exists. And when this happens, stress hormones spike. This not only affects the mind but also ripples through the body: disrupting digestion, causing excessive bowel movements, draining your energy, leaving you emotionally reactive, disturbing your sleep, and filling your mornings with dread because you’re lost in overthinking. It makes you see the negatives, people-please to avoid conflict, and avoid the confrontations that would actually set you free. They even say it can weaken your immune system, leaving you more prone to sickness, because your whole being is stuck in self-sabotage.

So what we’re dealing with is bigger than it looks. Anxiety affects your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It shapes your relationships, your ability to make decisions, and—most importantly—your ability to trust yourself and trust life.

I think losing trust is the star of the show here. That’s the breaking point—but also the place where the light can come in. Until we learn this lesson, anxiety will keep coming back, asking to be acknowledged. At its core, anxiety arises from a lack of trust that things will be okay.

At the heart of it, we feel anxious because we don’t trust ourselves—that we can organize a big family trip, deliver a presentation in front of board members, or create the life we truly love, day by day. We worry about missing the flight, something going wrong on the journey, not being able to say no without losing people, or not being able to say yes without our boundaries being crossed.

In these cases, we either:
a) don’t trust our own abilities to guide our life, or
b) don’t trust life, God, the Universe—that they would make mistakes or fail to protect us.

This sounds extreme, but it’s the root of our fear: the fear of being unattended.

The antidote to anxiety is to slow down, come back to our senses, and regain our ability to think rationally so that we can fully trust in the present moment that nothing fearful or unmanageable is happening. Yet the trap is that anxiety keeps feeding itself. For example, you might lie to a friend because you’re anxious to say no. Then, because of the missing truth, you become anxious about keeping up the lie. Later you realize it’s not sustainable, but now you’re anxious to come clean—what if you lose them?

Or you rush to the airport because you’re anxious about missing the flight, and in the process you leave home in a hurry. Then you’re anxious about whether you closed all the windows. You take a taxi instead of the train, but then worry if you have enough cash. You get out and start running, and now you’re anxious you’ll trip in front of everyone. And so it goes on and on…

So what’s the answer? Regain the trust. And start working the bugs out of your system 🙂

Trust is at the heart of everything: faith, surrender, the Divine touch. Without trust, nothing feels complete. Without trust, we get stuck in overthinking endless possibilities of how things might go wrong.

Trust is like the glue between the actions we take and the results we expect.

Tangible Practices to Rebuild Trust:

• Decide first. The decision to trust may happen in an instant. We may boldly say “I let go and let God” (cheesy as it may sound, but it fits here!). But the real deal is practice. Just like trust between two people, trust in life is built step by step. Be gentle with yourself. This is at the core of any long-term change.
• Make small promises to yourself. Once you’ve set the intention to meet life with more calm, start small. Wake up earlier on days with important appointments. Give yourself time. Do not compare yourself with others. Prove to yourself that calmer days are possible. Or, if saying no is hard, start with small interactions—a polite no to a cashier or hairdresser. Then move on to bigger relationships.
• Let life do its part. In stressful situations, if you’ve done your best, practice letting go and trusting that life will reveal the next step. When unexpected opportunities open up (and no manifestation is truly random), you’ll see that life is working with you and for you, not against you. Each time you choose to trust and loosen up, it gets easier.

At the end of the day, anxiety is not just about fear—it’s about trust. Trusting ourselves, trusting others, trusting life. We don’t need to force our nervous system into silence; we need to teach it that we are safe, again and again. The more we choose to trust in small steps, the more we’ll see evidence of life’s generosity.

So maybe the real question is not, “How do I stop being anxious?” but, “How can I start trusting again?”

👉🏻 Trust does not arrive on a silver platter, gifted by outside circumstances. We must choose it before the world confirms it.

📱Watch this Short — Why Do We Doubt Ourselves Even When We Know the Truth?

As always,

Love ❤️
Begüm